Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Enough about me, what do you think of me?

I go to meet the client who texts me all the time, using up my prepaid minutes, and who constantly tries to get me to send him dirty PM's (not it!).

I run late, because I have colored my hair (adding a dash of brown to the red, apparently it lasts longer that way, anyway, I like it) and done the kitty to match, and I leave it on a long time. I rush to dress, make up in the car, and on a whim, throw my whore bag into the car in case we progress to appointment tonight.

I go to TGI McGillicuddy's Good Time Emporium and meet him in the bar. It reeks of smoke. I catch his eye, greet him, and realize, he's sitting in the smoke-infested bar...because he's a smoker. Ick. Bleah.

We chat.

Me: It's nice to meet you! I hope your meeting went well.

Him: Meeting great, my job my job my job my job my clients my clients my way of doing business my smarts my smarts my savvy...

Me: Wow!

Him: My consulting my consulting my way of doing business my employees my way of running the office "I spend a lot of time manipulating, well, not manipulating, but controlling in an encouraging way" my way of running the office my business...

Me: Fantastic! I've been reading about the fight to abolish (regulation related to his job).

Him: That's BS, that's BS, that's BS, my business my business my job my title my office my work that's BS, here's the way it works, here's the way it works.

Me: Oh! That must be--

Him: (Story about how his business acumen and how it was spurned by a client who got taken advantage of by someone else and wanted to come back but he wouldn't let them. The story takes 11 minutes. I time it by his watch).

Me: Wow! You're so savvy!

Him: So what's going on in your life?

Me: Well, I just finished my master's, and moved here to--

Him: My life my house my cottage by the lake my boys my snowmobiles my atv's my jet-skis my boats my woods my vacations.

Me: You must be so--

Him: So how did you get into the hobby?

This is the first time he listens to anything I say or lets me finish a sentence.

At this point, we have been here about 40 minutes. This guy bores me out of my gourd. And he smokes. I'm already thinking, well, if I do him tonight at least I'm not wasting the getting-ready time. And he's not unattractive, just boorish. But hey, it's part of the job, right? Listeners-R-Us.

We decide to adjourn to a hotel. I call my Safety Friend and get her voicemail - I haven't warned her about this one in advance. I call Husband, to let him know I will be home a little later, and he sounds bereft. It's been a long day. I feel weird. My gut says, No. I spend the remaining six minutes of the drive trying to come up with a good excuse to bail.

We get to the hotel and I get into his car and explain very sweetly that I must have eaten something that disagreed with me, I'm having terrible stomach cramps, I'm worried that I'll puke if I go down on him. (Especially since, as I recall, this is the guy who likes that thing where the girl lies on her back and leans her head over the edge of the bed and he fucks her mouth, not that that really matters since it's a lie anyway). He has by now chewed gum. I kiss him, he gropes me, I bail.

He actually wasn't a bad kisser.

I rush home, beating Husband by seventeen minutes, during which I strip to the skin - every item I am wearing down to my panties reeks of smoke - shove everything in the laundry basket, text client to thank him for his concern for my well-being (he has texted me again, I swear I will bill him for that dime) shower, rinse my hair, and blowdry enough to not look like I have been in the shower. When Husband arrives, tired and down, there is soup warming on the stove and a wife in a bathrobe to greet him at the door.

I think I'm happier scheduling for the daytime.


Glen said...

I stumbled on your blog and I find it fascinating. From what you've written you seem to want to know your "clients" as people before you perform your service transaction (could I sanitize it more?). Do you see that as part of the service?

Mandy said...

Thank you - glad you came :) Please tell a friend -I'd love to hear from more people!

It's a couple of things - 1) I started out by researching on the bulletin boards devoted to the hobby and found that "clockwatchers" were looked down on, and women who provided a "GFE" - Girlfriend Experience - were reviewed better. I didn't know until only recently that there are some ladies who shove the guy out the door after one shot, whether the hour is up or not! That just feels tacky and like bad customer service to me - and I mean "customer service" in the most widely applicable way. Macy's doesn't tell you, OK, I helped you pick out one thing, now shove off, I'm done. So I feel like it is quite literally better business practice to treat the client as if they are a valued part of my day, not just someone who I want to get their money and get them to leave with the minimum I can give. I do other work, and I'm big on customer service in those fields, too.

2) I'm new to this world. While there is a network of references and reviews that help the participants (now who's sanitizing) screen each other, I don't know enough people personally to fully put my trust in that process. Safety-wise, I want to be able to screen out psychos and cops (who probably would not put in the extra time for multiple meetings.)

3)I get to screen for cleanliness and a reasonable amount of connection. While I'm not here to be too choosy, I honestly am not planning on being with anyone who flat-out grosses me out or makes me feel cheap. I think sleeping with someone who's having to hide the fact they can't stand you would also be a crappy thing to do to a client, and they probably wouldn't have a good time. Quite frankly, by engaging the clients in email discussions and meeting for coffee, I'm screening out bad spellers, stupid people, and men who prefer wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am and won't bother to take my kind of time.

I'm also considering raising the price, since beyond the "unrushed hour and a half" I'm billing them for, I spend an average of an hour per client on preliminary mails, pics and calls, and about half an hour on the pre-meeting.


The Fury said...

Sounds like you may have to make a "no smoker's" rule.

Glen said...

First, are those your legs on the latest post?

Second, why do you think a man would want an escort to provide the things a non-professional should be able to provide (i.e. conversation, non-sexual companionship, etc.)?

Mandy said...

Yes, they are my legs. Is that a 'wow, nice legs' or a 'jeez, those things could put an eye out'?

I think men want the non-sexual aspects because they are not being provided those things by the other woman in their life, and/or because it makes them feel less like they are "paying for it" and more like they are helping out a friend whom they happen to be sleeping with.

I keep hearing that the men are in non-sexual or less-than-loving relationships that they, for whatever reason, don't want to leave, but they can't get a girlfriend because it would break up their marriage or be too time-consuming...

See my next post on going to the circus for more on this.

Mandy said...

PS - Just saw a post on an escort board today where a guy asked if anyone does a 'dinner and a movie' package, no sex needed, he just wants to be out with a woman and doesn't have time to date.

Glen said...

Yes, you have very nice legs...the possibility of putting out an eye is worth the risk.