...for me, the money buys my instant availability rather than overcoming a lack of desire, though I am walking that line a bit...
...If your spouse sucks at cleaning, hire a maid. If your spouse works too much to care for the children, hire a nanny. If your spouse hates cooking, hire a cook or order in. But God forbid the spouse can't/won't have sex - they're an injured innocent and you're a lousy partner if you try to fulfill *that* need without leaving them...We spend our whole lives being brought up to believe that we must only have sex with people we are in love with, and that it's wrong and bad to enjoy being with more than one person in that way, that we are wrong and bad if we keep expressing a basic need, and we just have to 'deal with it' if the person we love best cannot provide for us. We'd never say that about food...
...Lying with Client, talking about Amsterdam, I say that I would like to visit a live sex show, and Amsterdam would be the place to do it since it will probably be a good one there. Thus far, I say, I have not been to Amsterdam with someone who would go to a live sex show with me, and I don't want to go alone because I'm worried I'll be mistaken for a prostitute. Oh, wait...
...My latest dilemma. Perhaps the idea that will come to be the overriding theme of this blog. If a client is doing things that do not turn me on, or feel actively bad, do I stop them, redirect them, teach them, or let them keep going and fake/enhance my enjoyment so that they think everything is just fine? On one hand, I am not there for my pleasure (we could argue), I'm there for theirs. That's why they're paying. The product is Girl Who Thinks You're a Fabulous Lover, and my job is to make them feel like the world's greatest athlete. On the other hand, the kind of personal experience I am starting to be interested in having is the outreach aspect - getting compensated like a therapist for much the same job, minus some of the professional detachment. With my circus client, I was honest about what oral was like for me, and I asked him his reasoning for a certain position for oral for him, just as I would with a personal lover. Sooo...can I make money and not offend clients if I treat them like a lover I care about being with again, and like I want to be genuinely having a good time? Or will they just feel instructed and put off by an overbearing bitch instead of the compliant little slut they paid for?
So the question, Gentle Readers - better for you if the lady, for all you can tell, is having a lovely time with no instructions to you, or if she says wait, do it like this? The client cannot (so far) tell the difference between my real and faked good time...
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Bits and Pieces
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5 comments:
Mandy, I have just read your entire blog and I am fascinated. I really like the straight forward nature of your posts. It would be easy for the masses to pass judgement on a married woman who has a lover and works as an escort, but after reading your posts I have a greater understanding of where you are coming from. It's also refreshing to read about a woman who is in touch with her feminity and her sexuality, two qualities which I personally find more attractive than any physical appearance but sadly most men find too daunting. Anyway, just thought I'd say I had fun reading your blog and will continue to read, and comment, if you keep posting. Cheers, Aussie Jack.
You should talk with Gillette who did that sort of thing and is now a sex surrogate. You can find her link on my blog.
So the question, Gentle Readers - better for you if the lady, for all you can tell, is having a lovely time with no instructions to you, or if she says wait, do it like this? The client cannot (so far) tell the difference between my real and faked good time...
I deal with this a lot in my comment to the piece immediately below. (I hope you read comments to these older posts, none of which are THAT old anyway.)
It’s a question of how you balance money and experience (pretty darn far towards experience I’d say within the hooker spectrum, especially since you’ve got so much going on in so many ways you can STILL make phat bank), and how much good sexual experience is a realistic possibility for you given your sexual drive (very high, probably very, very high – still reading) versus need for emotional connection or lots of that to get off (not so much). It’s also a question of how much you can afford to be choosy. I’d say you can, lots. You’re sitting pretty.
So with all that, there’s still a balance.
Since you can readily get a gf experience type client (and it’s going to get easier and easier to get plenty while getting more and more restrictive), mix acting with showing him what will get you off. If it isn’t going to work, then just act but consider dropping him, or making him a lower scheduling priority.
But you probably should always act a little – unless of course it all goes just fab without. Yeah you should fake orgasms if you don’t have them, but underplay it if it isn't real. Even more important actually is to fake getting turned on and into the sex pre-orgasm even if you aren't - though don't overdo that either, if not real. But don't act cold even if you feel cold. You do want to be his fantasy. But leave some incentive to turn you on even more (i.e for real).
Hell, I think some acting is sometimes a good thing to do in relationships too – acting out fantasies. Or acting in new roles before you’re sure they fit. I’m not saying fake orgasms in relationships. More like when exploring D/s type stuff or trying switching or whatever. Though if you can’t / don’t want to grow into the role after giving it a good try, well that’s diff. Anyway, that’s my feeling and a digression. And I imagine you'd agree anyway, from what I've read so far.
So I’d say keep the instruction light in amount and gradual especially if he's not so eager a student of your particular ins and outs (which is how you should always cast it even if you think probably rightly most women would feel the same). Brake him in with baby steps towards genuinely turning you on or doing so more - except for the eager (which e.g. would include me). And also in your acting be open to getting off in the other persona. Except DO get him/them to stop stuff that hurts (in a bad way), right away. I’m assuming regulars here. Which is the way to go, if you can fill your book that way.
I had a live in gf at Stanford for a while who did this with my full knowledge, encouragement and emotional and other help. I've also on a number of occasions been a client on business trips domestically and abroad -- and ONLY sought girls like you (with a very good snifter), and hence when I looked, I often or actually usually found no one in the short time I had (I also wasn't willing to pay exorbitant amounts since I wasn't desperate, but was just exploring experiences myself.)
Re all this, rent that DVD I recommended and linked to in a comment to an April post. Word of Mouth. It's all about a Beverly Hills call girl's very skill acting -- combined with her also often really getting into it and off on it (in part because of her tightly selected client base) -- and a very blurry line between the two.
Personally, if I were to hire an escort, I'd want it to be as much like a "real" experience as possible. That includes you genuinely trying to have fun, and telling me what you like, and telling me when I could do something differently. I would find the certainty of knowing that you were treating it like a real-life encounter even more arousing than you seeming to be aroused but me being uncertain how much is real.
Of course, guys are different, and I'm sure some just want the fantasy. It's a matter of figuring out what a given guy really wants (and admittedly, him *saying* he wants to please you is not the same as him really making it a priority and wanting the extra hassle/work).
I agree very much with both Dex and Thomas - it's a subtle shifting challenge.
What it's finally boiling down to for me is that Mandy the real lover is a lot more fun to be with than Mandy the whore - it just happens that some people give me gifts of money to get priority in my schedule.
Oddly, it's difficult for me to say right off the bat what I like with a new lover - I still have a hard time with feelings of "you should just 'know' what I want" which I know is patently ridiculous, but I want it on a hindbrain level anyway.
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