Saturday, February 10, 2007


poi•son (poi z n) noun: 1. A substance that causes injury, illness, or death, especially by chemical means. 2. Something destructive or fatal. 3. A substance that inhibits another substance or a reaction: a catalyst poison. Transitive verb: 1. To kill or harm with poison. 2. To put poison on or into: poisoning arrows; poisoned the drink. 3. a. To pollute: Noxious fumes poison the air. See Synonyms at contaminate. b. To have a harmful influence on; corrupt: Jealousy poisoned their friendship. 4. Chemistry & Physics To inhibit (a substance or reaction). Adjective: Poisonous.

Toxicology, Part One

My friend E is the most sexually free woman I know. She’s luscious and lovely and amazingly creative. Once I helped her set up her boyfriend and a virgin, but that’s another story. This boyfriend, also sexually free and an ex-lover of mine, was oh-so-into her. But he kept looking occasionally, as men are wont to do.

Enter Toni. E’s Boyfriend is watching Toni and liking what he sees. We’re all in a show together, and I watch E notice, encourage, and then start to get a little nervous. Boyfriend is getting very, very into Toni, and Toni’s not an open-relationship-secondary-person type of girl, she’s a want-him-for-myself, crashing-in-talons-first, valkyrie in heeled boots and big tits.

One night, after the show, Boyfriend finds a basket of fruit and a note in his dressing room. The note is a deeply erotic poem, and tells him to be backstage later that night for a meeting. He knows it’s from E, this is her kind of thing, she’s fantastic at this game. He showers, changes, and waits at the appointed time and place.

A woman walks in. It’s Toni, he recognizes the sound of her heels on the wooden stage. In a panic, he starts to think about how he will get rid of her before E arrives, will he be blamed, what’s going to happen? And in comes Toni.

“I never had a man send me poetry like *that* before.”

Same poem. Same fruit. Same time and place...set up by E.

They fuck. It’s good. And Boyfriend, when he tells me the story, tells me “After that, I only thought of Toni as E’s creature.”

Toxicology, Part Two

You’ve read about Circus Guy, one of the clients I actually like and look forward to seeing. I came with him. I find him physically attractive. I feel that I’m complementary to him, that I have some crazy to give him, that his life will be better for knowing me. I told him personal stuff about my real life. He knows my real name. I sent him an email saying what I great time I had and how I was looking forward to seeing him again.

Today, the Day After, I get an email.

Hi, I had a wonderful time myself. You are so sexy.

Tip #2. Never count the money in front of you regular clients. This is very insulting (and yes I was). These relationships are based on trust just like any other. I'm sure you didn't know this since you are new to this. Forgiven.

#3. For any clients never charge them for the room.

#4. Reduce the rates for your regulars 25 to 50 dollars depending on how much you like them.

I'm not trying to be cheep or funny. you can check these tips out with the other girls or just ignore them all together. Certainly it is up to you.

I think that's enough for now. More tips to be given after the next time I see u.

His email starts with Tip#2, but hey, proofreading is highly overrated. Or maybe there was a Tip #1 – I wonder what it was?

Tip#1 – You should ask for your money up front so you can count it in the bathroom like all the other girls do, not at the end of the appointment which makes you feel less tacky and the client more trusted but is harder to hide.

Tip #1 – Me paying you less than the cost of the hotel (he did by $10) should not be taken as an implication that I might otherwise short you, even though you already undercharged me on hotel because you forgot about the tax when you told me how much it was going to be, in advance, on the phone, before we met.

Tip#1 – You should eat the cost of a hotel you aren’t staying in, on top of gas to a city 90 minutes away even though you deliberately scheduled our time together on top of another meeting because you know my finances are tight and you wanted to help me out instead of charging a travel fee. Even though all your other clients expect to pay hotel. Even though I told you it’s disgusting to see more than one client in a day, which is the only way a girl can afford to treat a hotel like an incall location.

Tip #1 – You should start calling it 90 minutes flat, because when you spend $500 worth of time with a client for $275, after not charging them for hotel last time and spending $500 worth of time that time, too, they will just ask you for a discount instead of appreciating that no other girl out there lets the clock go like you do.

I can’t wait for the next tips!

PS – Compartments, I suddenly understand a lot more…


Al Laddin said...

Tacky, tacky, tacky.

What a crappy context within which to "chisel"...esp. with YOU.

Tip # whatever:

To thine OWN self be true.

gentlereaderofthemuse said...

So was this enough to take Circus Guy off of your list? Are you capricious and is your wroth mighty and swift?

With this guy, it should be.

Tom Paine said...

Everyone's an expert. The question is: are you just another whore, or are you worth it? I know the answer, and I think you do, at least based on your snarky comments.

I guess it's why it's not good to get close to a client. As they said in "The Godfather," it's not personal, it's business. You're not going to have to kill someone in your line of work, but I think it's better if you keep real boundaries between the sex, your feelings and the clients.

That's why they're called clients and not friends or lovers.

Mandy said...

The choice is difficult, because while I feel a bit insulted, I find him attractive enough to enjoy sex with him, and he's overall not a bad person, just financially behind and doing the best he can...poorly. Given getting over the insult, or replacing him with another client I might not like as much, it's a tough one. However, I did explain to him in an email that I would rather spend a longer time than drop the price, so if I do see him, it will be at the same rate.

Personal vs Business...also hard...I want to get in, get my money and get out with minimal damage to my psyche, but I'm also here to spread the crazy around, and sometimes they need me even when they fight it...I'd like all my clients to be great relationships, but that's draining, too.

Tom Paine said...

Girl, I suspect you've got nearly endless reserves of crazy. But save that for people you care about and let the others pay for it. I will help those I like with advice on many things, but otherwise in business it's show me the color of your money. That prevents misunderstandings. If we're friends or even (gasp) lovers, then I can ask you for a favor and you can either accept or decline. I might feel pissed at you for declining, but hopefully we'd get over that. In business, I have no right to ask you for a favor unless I'm prepared to pay for it. Keeping those boundaries clear will, I think, help you keep the crazy from becoming the jaded.

dexplorer said...

My two cents are that business has to come first, and always underlie the meetings. You're going to go nuts if you don't make that a rule you stick by. I don't think it has to ONLY be that with all your clients, though as you know that's the general "wisdom" of the biz (partly because pimps and lovers want it that way, I think -- but only partly). I think given who you are, who you can attract as clients, and the limited number of clients you want to see, that you can make it a more fun experience than that for you -- and for many of them, moving to all the ones you keep seeing.

You have to let him know that though with HIM you like to make it a lover like experience for both of you, that's only on top of the business. That's only if HE wants that. You can live without. It's a plus for you if it is for him too, but it's not what you're there for. The discount is the better feel he gets from it, if that's what he wants. If he can't handle that, it won't work. And it'll have to go back to the default faking and not coming and no talking about any of your personal life, just business. Or not taking his appointments. Seems to me.

The trying to cut your rates isn't good. Giving him free time that you enjoy spending with him and that isn't costing you because you weren't going to turn around and see someone else is something else. That's a kind of discount for him that you enjoy. As long as he isn't also trying to cut your rates.

Counting the money in the bathroom does make sense if you're going to count with the particular regular.

Whether you want to give discounts to regulars is up to you, but you sure shouldn't feel pressured to. And you CERTAINLY shouldn't let him think he's going to slowly move you down to zero, or half or something. I don't think your rates are high for the sort of woman your are. At all. Even realizing you're not in NY or LA. (I LIKE incomplete sentences from time to time in semi conversational web speak! Well, ok, quite a lot.)

You're going to find other regulars you really like doing. You're not trying to do that many.

Still, he's just testing boundaries and trying to see you more given what he can afford, it seems from what you're saying.

Just my 2c. I'm assuming you want the feedback. (There's a bit of a hazard in commenting on a whole bunch of older stuff all at once, before a dialog.)

The one thing I'd be REAL careful about is telling clients your real name. They can use that to blackmail you if they get pissed, given you have a respectable life. I just wouldn't do it in fact. Maybe first name only if you want with the ones you really like, as a token of trust and closeness. Similarly it isn't good to reveal too much info about your present legit (mainstream) work, combined with where you live. One or the other might be ok but not both. Your instincts are to be very trusting when you connect. Imagine a love affair gone bad. With the lover having something REALLY disastrous over your head if he can identify you.