Poison

poi•son (poi z n) noun: 1. A substance that causes injury, illness, or death, especially by chemical means. 2. Something destructive or fatal. 3. A substance that inhibits another substance or a reaction: a catalyst poison. Transitive verb: 1. To kill or harm with poison. 2. To put poison on or into: poisoning arrows; poisoned the drink. 3. a. To pollute: Noxious fumes poison the air. See Synonyms at contaminate. b. To have a harmful influence on; corrupt: Jealousy poisoned their friendship. 4. Chemistry & Physics To inhibit (a substance or reaction). Adjective: Poisonous.



Toxicology, Part One

My friend E is the most sexually free woman I know. She’s luscious and lovely and amazingly creative. Once I helped her set up her boyfriend and a virgin, but that’s another story. This boyfriend, also sexually free and an ex-lover of mine, was oh-so-into her. But he kept looking occasionally, as men are wont to do.

Enter Toni. E’s Boyfriend is watching Toni and liking what he sees. We’re all in a show together, and I watch E notice, encourage, and then start to get a little nervous. Boyfriend is getting very, very into Toni, and Toni’s not an open-relationship-secondary-person type of girl, she’s a want-him-for-myself, crashing-in-talons-first, valkyrie in heeled boots and big tits.

One night, after the show, Boyfriend finds a basket of fruit and a note in his dressing room. The note is a deeply erotic poem, and tells him to be backstage later that night for a meeting. He knows it’s from E, this is her kind of thing, she’s fantastic at this game. He showers, changes, and waits at the appointed time and place.

A woman walks in. It’s Toni, he recognizes the sound of her heels on the wooden stage. In a panic, he starts to think about how he will get rid of her before E arrives, will he be blamed, what’s going to happen? And in comes Toni.

“I never had a man send me poetry like *that* before.”

Same poem. Same fruit. Same time and place...set up by E.

They fuck. It’s good. And Boyfriend, when he tells me the story, tells me “After that, I only thought of Toni as E’s creature.”



Toxicology, Part Two

You’ve read about Circus Guy, one of the clients I actually like and look forward to seeing. I came with him. I find him physically attractive. I feel that I’m complementary to him, that I have some crazy to give him, that his life will be better for knowing me. I told him personal stuff about my real life. He knows my real name. I sent him an email saying what I great time I had and how I was looking forward to seeing him again.

Today, the Day After, I get an email.

Hi, I had a wonderful time myself. You are so sexy.

Tip #2. Never count the money in front of you regular clients. This is very insulting (and yes I was). These relationships are based on trust just like any other. I'm sure you didn't know this since you are new to this. Forgiven.

#3. For any clients never charge them for the room.

#4. Reduce the rates for your regulars 25 to 50 dollars depending on how much you like them.

I'm not trying to be cheep or funny. you can check these tips out with the other girls or just ignore them all together. Certainly it is up to you.

I think that's enough for now. More tips to be given after the next time I see u.

His email starts with Tip#2, but hey, proofreading is highly overrated. Or maybe there was a Tip #1 – I wonder what it was?

Tip#1 – You should ask for your money up front so you can count it in the bathroom like all the other girls do, not at the end of the appointment which makes you feel less tacky and the client more trusted but is harder to hide.

Tip #1 – Me paying you less than the cost of the hotel (he did by $10) should not be taken as an implication that I might otherwise short you, even though you already undercharged me on hotel because you forgot about the tax when you told me how much it was going to be, in advance, on the phone, before we met.

Tip#1 – You should eat the cost of a hotel you aren’t staying in, on top of gas to a city 90 minutes away even though you deliberately scheduled our time together on top of another meeting because you know my finances are tight and you wanted to help me out instead of charging a travel fee. Even though all your other clients expect to pay hotel. Even though I told you it’s disgusting to see more than one client in a day, which is the only way a girl can afford to treat a hotel like an incall location.

Tip #1 – You should start calling it 90 minutes flat, because when you spend $500 worth of time with a client for $275, after not charging them for hotel last time and spending $500 worth of time that time, too, they will just ask you for a discount instead of appreciating that no other girl out there lets the clock go like you do.

I can’t wait for the next tips!

PS – Compartments, I suddenly understand a lot more…