Monday, February 19, 2007

Busy, Busy

So two appointments tomorrow.

Normally, I wouldn’t – I’m worried about being tired, burned out, and/or sore – in fact, I turned down (by not calling back) a friend who was passing through town, but whom I recall being large and hard. Have to keep fit for the big race! But my best friend is flying in from a foreign country, to another state, and I really, really want to make it down to see her. Which, being as it's last minute, means coughing up for a plane ticket, hence my double-whoring-dip. Flavors: Rum Raisin/Pistachio (only old people eat it) and Bubblegum/Peppermint Candy (sounds like a good idea at the time, but so overwhelming you're sorry you got it halfway through).

Appointment One – Estimated Age: Mummy, whom I met at the Meet&Greet a few weeks ago. When he first called me over, my skin crawled, but he was so nice to talk to, I decided it was worth a shot. He was – surprise – genuinely interested in what I had to say as well as being genuinely interesting himself, polite, well-spoken, and since then has been nice as pie on the phone and in email. He asked what I’d like him to bring to nibble on, told me to get whatever hotel I was comfortable with, “after all, there’s not much good in your area under $100 a night, right?” and wants me to bring lotion so he can rub me all over. Which, given my level of winter dry skin, may end up being the best part of the whole bargain. I’m curious about what being with EA:M will actually be like, but hey, he’s old, right? How long can he last? And he’s planning on snacking and back-rubbing in our 90 minutes, so I’m hoping it will be pleasant and sweet, not too much wear and tear on the merch.

And speaking of the merch...

Appointment Two – Shortish Guy and Hot Bi Chick. I’m taking his word for the relative hotness of his early-20’s girl, but I hope I like her, because mostly, that’s what he wants to see. Now I like girls – I think they’re soft and curvy and smell real pretty. But I’ve never “been with” a girl. I’ve been in a few situations where another girl was present, and I’ve made out a very little bit with my friend Beautiful Girl as well as sharing a cuddly bed with her a few times. No matter how much of a dog Hot Bi Chick turns out to be – and let’s face it, she’s with Shortish Guy – I’m all about her face, her mouth, her breasts, her thighs. But when it’s time to be faced with the dumb starling, the sweet fat sheep, the rabbit without an ear, I’m not real sure what to DO.

Right now, I’m developing a strategic plan of Avoiding Thinking About It. With some added Mental Incredulity at having signed up for this one. And a brief foray into How To Get Her To Shower If She’s Nasty.

Gentle Readers, I seek your aid, as fervently as the president seeks democracy in Iraq, but with far more credible hope of achievement. When faced with the furry little friend, what do you do?


Anonymous said...

This sounds like a question for C. But I do have a back up plan to the shower mentioned, a strawberry flavored dental dam. They have them at most sex stores. Good luck!

Blissfully Wed said...

No advice but I wish you well. I'm a hotel bellman and have seen all sorts of scenarios, romantic and otherwise.

It's nice to read your blog and get a taste of what happens once the guest room doors come to a close.

Tom Paine said...

"This sounds like a question for C."

I about snorted my tea through my nose reading that, but by God, Anonymous was reading my mind!

C. said...

"Sounds like a question for C" - I don't get it. But perhaps I'm not the C. anonymous was referring to.


Tom Paine said...

Darling, perhaps your well-known expertise with women has spread beyond "Polyamorously Perverse"?

Gillette said...

The old guy might surprise you. Mine did me.

And enjoy the pussy. Yum, yum, lick, lick. What do I do with them? I imagine what I want done on me and do it, then watch for responses and play with the territory.

You're hot, you like to play. We have the utmost confidence in you figuring it out in the moment! one ever knows what will work with any particular partner, yes? It's always new.

Cheers and enjoy your day. I always loved more than one in a day. My favorite was three, which unfortunately only happened twice. Felt so wonderfully slutty.

Anonymous said...

I'd make a shower together part of the "show"

As far as knowing what to DO...duh, just remember the golden onto others ;)


Cain said...


Have a good one! ~~gulp!

Cheers! (loved the interview,btw, @"Dark-Side")

Mandy said...

It worked out really well :) And it was nice to know you were all rooting for me! Like having a little grandstand of friends with pennants.

dexplorer said...

Jeeeezzzz! You’re in your early thirties, went to a name brand undergraduate college majoring in the humanities (English or Drama I’d guess), and never went downtown on a femme? How on earth did you manage to graduate? ;0

Ok, I realize I’m ridiculously late to the party to comment on this but I just couldn’t resist. Got to say that one kinda shocked me though, given everything else.

Advice. I was going to pop the golden rule too, but then I read through the comments and it's covered. Individual diff's though. Start there. Then modify according to her reactions.