Friday, February 23, 2007

Crawling Out of the Hole

Every inch of my body, every fiber of my being is trying to hibernate. I'm so tired of being cold, windblown and slightly damp. I'm having great difficulty getting motivated, too - it's taken over a week to buy another phone card for the whore phone, I still haven't loaded up the minutes, and my personal phone is...somewhere. Maybe the kitchen? I can't find my checkbooks, they've been lost for three weeks and my only hope is that when the bank statement comes in I'll find the last check I wrote and it will have a clue to where the books might be. Without them, I feel completely out of control of my life.

Here's what I need to do:

1) Take advantage of having an hour to and an hour from the gym in the car with PowerGirl tomorrow. She knows what's going on, and I can load up the phone, dial up some clients, and get things moving.

2) Answer the 30 or so personal messages on the bulletin board, all potential clients whom I've ignored other than a quick note telling them I'm not ignoring them.

3) Use the empty days I have next week, since I was a Bad Friend and didn't go see my best friend, to book clients and to get my other life in gear. Wednesday's booked for Sexual Athlete in another city, and I'd like to try for another two-client day. Maybe I can get Ramen Guy to finally commit.

4) Catch up with nine million emails - well, actually, just over 400 - in my three inboxes. Maybe even go ahead and delete any that are more than a year old.

5) Lie on the sofa and masturbate repeatedly. No, wait, how did that one get in there?

OK, starting with #5 it is...


Beau Geste said...

It sounds like you might need a wife. ;)

xarbenet said...

I think she needs an administrative assistant!

Cain said...

uhhh..can I be number 6??


Mandy said...

The application line starts over there...what is it I'm supposed to screen for? Ability to take dictation while having nipples sucked?