tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-783604029558431761.post3748110353415489672..comments2023-10-30T05:55:23.226-06:00Comments on How About Now?: PoisonMandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04608028066791266054noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-783604029558431761.post-26085471011062937592007-04-05T05:02:00.000-06:002007-04-05T05:02:00.000-06:00My two cents are that business has to come first, ...My two cents are that business has to come first, and always underlie the meetings. You're going to go nuts if you don't make that a rule you stick by. I don't think it has to ONLY be that with all your clients, though as you know that's the general "wisdom" of the biz (partly because pimps and lovers want it that way, I think -- but only partly). I think given who you are, who you can attract as clients, and the limited number of clients you want to see, that you can make it a more fun experience than that for you -- and for many of them, moving to all the ones you keep seeing.<BR/><BR/>You have to let him know that though with HIM you like to make it a lover like experience for both of you, that's only on top of the business. That's only if HE wants that. You can live without. It's a plus for you if it is for him too, but it's not what you're there for. The discount is the better feel he gets from it, if that's what he wants. If he can't handle that, it won't work. And it'll have to go back to the default faking and not coming and no talking about any of your personal life, just business. Or not taking his appointments. Seems to me.<BR/><BR/>The trying to cut your rates isn't good. Giving him free time that you enjoy spending with him and that isn't costing you because you weren't going to turn around and see someone else is something else. That's a kind of discount for him that you enjoy. As long as he isn't also trying to cut your rates.<BR/><BR/>Counting the money in the bathroom does make sense if you're going to count with the particular regular. <BR/><BR/>Whether you want to give discounts to regulars is up to you, but you sure shouldn't feel pressured to. And you CERTAINLY shouldn't let him think he's going to slowly move you down to zero, or half or something. I don't think your rates are high for the sort of woman your are. At all. Even realizing you're not in NY or LA. (I LIKE incomplete sentences from time to time in semi conversational web speak! Well, ok, quite a lot.) <BR/><BR/>You're going to find other regulars you really like doing. You're not trying to do that many.<BR/><BR/>Still, he's just testing boundaries and trying to see you more given what he can afford, it seems from what you're saying.<BR/><BR/>Just my 2c. I'm assuming you want the feedback. (There's a bit of a hazard in commenting on a whole bunch of older stuff all at once, before a dialog.)<BR/><BR/>The one thing I'd be REAL careful about is telling clients your real name. They can use that to blackmail you if they get pissed, given you have a respectable life. I just wouldn't do it in fact. Maybe first name only if you want with the ones you really like, as a token of trust and closeness. Similarly it isn't good to reveal too much info about your present legit (mainstream) work, combined with where you live. One or the other might be ok but not both. Your instincts are to be very trusting when you connect. Imagine a love affair gone bad. With the lover having something REALLY disastrous over your head if he can identify you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-783604029558431761.post-23802520872806278162007-02-13T00:38:00.000-06:002007-02-13T00:38:00.000-06:00Girl, I suspect you've got nearly endless reserves...Girl, I suspect you've got nearly endless reserves of crazy. But save that for people you care about and let the others pay for it. I will help those I like with advice on many things, but otherwise in business it's show me the color of your money. That prevents misunderstandings. If we're friends or even (gasp) lovers, then I can ask you for a favor and you can either accept or decline. I might feel pissed at you for declining, but hopefully we'd get over that. In business, I have no right to ask you for a favor unless I'm prepared to pay for it. Keeping those boundaries clear will, I think, help you keep the crazy from becoming the jaded.Tom Painehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00161506345580238037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-783604029558431761.post-16273945067384519652007-02-12T23:16:00.000-06:002007-02-12T23:16:00.000-06:00The choice is difficult, because while I feel a bi...The choice is difficult, because while I feel a bit insulted, I find him attractive enough to enjoy sex with him, and he's overall not a bad person, just financially behind and doing the best he can...poorly. Given getting over the insult, or replacing him with another client I might not like as much, it's a tough one. However, I did explain to him in an email that I would rather spend a longer time than drop the price, so if I do see him, it will be at the same rate.<BR/><BR/>Personal vs Business...also hard...I want to get in, get my money and get out with minimal damage to my psyche, but I'm also here to spread the crazy around, and sometimes they need me even when they fight it...I'd like all my clients to be great relationships, but that's draining, too.Mandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04608028066791266054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-783604029558431761.post-48037032915090525622007-02-12T19:16:00.000-06:002007-02-12T19:16:00.000-06:00Everyone's an expert. The question is: are you jus...Everyone's an expert. The question is: are you just another whore, or are you worth it? I know the answer, and I think you do, at least based on your snarky comments.<BR/><BR/>I guess it's why it's not good to get close to a client. As they said in "The Godfather," it's not personal, it's business. You're not going to have to kill someone in your line of work, but I think it's better if you keep real boundaries between the sex, your feelings and the clients.<BR/><BR/>That's why they're called clients and not friends or lovers.Tom Painehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00161506345580238037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-783604029558431761.post-39856723671081677382007-02-12T16:07:00.000-06:002007-02-12T16:07:00.000-06:00So was this enough to take Circus Guy off of your ...So was this enough to take Circus Guy off of your list? Are you capricious and is your wroth mighty and swift?<BR/><BR/>With this guy, it should be.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-783604029558431761.post-89251248070051423762007-02-12T12:36:00.000-06:002007-02-12T12:36:00.000-06:00Tacky, tacky, tacky.What a crappy context within w...Tacky, tacky, tacky.<BR/><BR/>What a crappy context within which to "chisel"...esp. with YOU.<BR/><BR/>Tip # whatever:<BR/><BR/>To thine OWN self be true.Al Laddinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09394348512930627089noreply@blogger.com