Friday, March 23, 2007

Oh, No - It's a Zonk!

It’s time to play…Let’s! Make! A Deal! (with a whore…)

Behind Door Number One: It’s a Working Vacation!

A guy from Another Big City, with whom I emailed and then phoned for nearly an hour late at night, who had missed the bit about “I’m a professional” in my ad and couldn’t bring himself to see a whore, has emailed me again. He was a sweet, naive guy – divorced, hasn’t been with a woman in three years. I was happy to talk to him at the time, I couldn’t sleep and he was curious about what I do. He’s a craftsman, a subcontractor, which is always something that fascinates me – I find the ability to make things with one’s hands pretty impressive. Now he’s emailed me:

Just letting you know that I still think about what might have been... Any plans to be in My City soon?? You are a beautiful classy lady...and even doing lunch would be fun...
let me know...
Thanks, [Craftsman]

I don’t know, Monty – the idea of traveling to another city to have lunch with a hard-up guy whose money I can’t charm out of him is pretty tempting…but I’m going to have to trade it for Door Number Two!

Which is…

Another Guy from Another Big City! The one who answered my ad, spelled and punctuated reasonably correctly, but I was waiting for confirmation on another appointment and didn’t call him back in time! He’s messaged me on my voicemail asking when I’ll be in town again…and he already knows what I cost! Hmmm…well, Monty, I’ve learned a lesson about back-up bookings, but I don’t really have time or energy to set up enough appointments in his city to make it worthwhile, nor is that the way I want to do business. I’ll trade him for Door Number Three!

It’s a Brand…New…Client!

Three, actually – one I’ve met, Teddy Bear, who wants a long appointment, likes me, and whom I don’t find horribly objectionable. He also asked what my favorite flowers are, which is a good sign. The second one I haven’t met yet, it’s Urban Designer, who sounds young and describes himself as reasonably fit. The third I also haven’t met – an older man who writes well and knows the score. I haven’t yet responded to his detailed emails with more than a quick “I’m really busy, I’ll get back to you,” but he's kept on keepin' on.

Monty, can I trade for the Big Deal?

Behind the door is a curtain.

Behind the curtain is a junked-out car. Oh, no! But...

...inside the trunk of the car is a text message, sent to my personal phone, with my whore name, in the middle of a workday. I call, demand to know who this is before revealing my name – thank God he didn’t call and get my message with my real name and company, the message I didn’t have on there when I first started whoring, then put back when I got a second phone. Turns out it’s J, my first real client. I never thought I’d hear from him again after our quick experience. He wants to hear from me when I get back into town. The next week, he texts me again, wants to see me tomorrow. No deal, I’m still away.

So is it an stop sign or a portent to keep going?


Tom Paine said...

You're good in bed, pretty, and a good actress (C. talks about the theater of sex, you two could spend hours trading insights). What's not to like? Men are stupid enough to overlook the fact they're paying for you and everyone is happy.

If you're looking for a sign from God, the signs all say "here are the opportunities you put in place by being where you are and having lines in the water." If you want a sign to quit, don't wait for an abscess or getting busted. If you have doubts about the life, leave under your own power.

Al Laddin said...

I'm with Tom.

I will never have the experience of a sexual person for hire as much as I would love to...I'm a guy fergawdssake and THAT market is saturated.

I can only image the rushes and the crashes you get to experience in real time. Add lover and husband and the business person and the sister, daughter, friend and all the rest of it to the's sure the story that keeps us coming back all right.

Keepin' it real and staying safe (physically and emotionally) while playing wa-a-a-a-a-y above the rim. That's what it's all about. Running a sustainability check is never a bad thing. To thine own self be true.

Cain said...

thanks, for always giving us the full monty!

bottomsUp! *_^