Friday, March 30, 2007

Perhaps it's the Black Death?

So I’ve contracted some kind of creeping throat rot that just won’t quit. I left town for two weeks straight, got sick (as chronicled here), came home, and even though my sore throat is better, I keep coughing and hacking. And I’m just so tired…all I want to do is sit in bed in my jammies, I’ve slept until noon five days in a row (until 4PM one day) and have been taking two-hour afternoon naps. And I’m even going to bed at a decent hour!

I did actually Google it, and no, I don’t have mono. Thank God for small favors.

Meanwhile, I’ve been clearing out my personal message box on the whoreboard, telling clients and potential clients, sorry, I’m sick, I’m not in a good place to be a companion, I’m not doing any bookings for April. I may make an exception for Teddy Bear, but honestly, I’m just so sick of the bulletin board culture it doesn’t make me want to participate in the hobby.

The posts are incredibly repetitive:

- Reviews – generally either written with way too much wink-wink-nudge-nudge: “We had a great time, I won’t go into detail!” or far too much tawdry Penthouse letters crap: “She x’d my long, throbbing y until I could take it no more…” Or else they just make me laugh describing how they made an SP come repeatedly. Um, yeah. Whatever.

- “Why don’t you” posts – recently someone posted that a German brothel chain is offering half-off specials to retirees in the daytime. 25 Euros for what I’m guessing is a no kissing, not completely undressing half hour. Fine. Fly your aging ass to Germany.

- Coy little wankfests where the men ask the women about their sexual practices: “Who is a daily masturbator?” or the women ask the men questions designed to promote their own business “Do you like it when a girl lets you…” “Why do guys like [girls built like me]?”

- In the private Ladies’ section, two girls are sniping at each other for plagiarizing ad text, two more are whining about who told a client what about the other one and everyone else is taking sides.

It’s like junior high. I don’t want to be part of this crowd – and since exchanging “time and companionship” for money is the defining characteristic of the crowd, it makes me not want to do that, either. Business is picking up, judging by my inbox, and I don’t want it.

Here’s what I want. I want to fly to other cities as a “luxury travel companion”. I want to charge the earth for cocktails, dinner and a night in a lovely hotel – and hey, if I have to wake up alone because the wife expects him home, I don’t have a problem with that, either. I want a separate apartment that I maintain purely to meet clients in a lovely atmosphere where I own the place and feel secure and don't have to give yet another explanation to the clerk about why I'm checking out at 6PM.

The problem is, that kind of business requires way more time and energy to develop than I really want to put in. I’d probably have to build a website.


Do I want to continue whoring at a low level to make my mad money? Cut it out entirely? Or seek the Third Way?

Regardless of the choice that gets made, I’ll reassure the lovely Gentle Readers who have expressed concern – I’m not quitting blogging anytime soon. I’ll just have to start sleeping around more in my personal life to have something to write about, right? I can certainly think of worse fates…


Al Laddin said...

Whew!!! Glad you're well enough to say Hi.

That's how the "boards" are in my neck of the woods, too. Drama trauma drama trauma...this is SUPPOSED to be the most fun two people can have.

Human nature I guess.

Tom Paine said...

Did I tell you I play the guitar?

Sleeping around in your personal life. Hmmm, that sounds interesting. Maybe you can work your way through the bloggers you know?

Glad to hear you're feeling better, and I don't think I'd be alone in being happy if you stopped low grade whoring for something else.

Anonymous said...

I vote for a Fourth Way. The Third Way is just the same as what you're doing now. Besides, sleeping with people you really want to is much more fun. And that's something mony can't buy.

gentlereaderofthemuse said...

Hopefully you'll stay around long enough for me to see you ;)