Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Why Are There...

...so many battered women in America?

Because the bitches don't listen.

It happens that I have an affinity for sick humor, particularly anti-woman sick humor. I enjoy shocking people with the jokes I tell - childish, I know. The joke above came to mind for me during this afternoon's frolic. Sexual Athlete genuinely likes me. He sent a sappy card. He texts and emails me nearly daily. And yet, I keep liking him less and less, and today I wanted to hit him for not fucking listening. The play-by-play:

Sexual Athlete is through the door! His coat is off! Now the tie! He hands off the 50 pages of material on SEC filings, he shoots, he scores!

Or rather, he jams his tongue down my throat - again - his fingers into my pussy - again - and demands that I come after about 2.5 minutes of strictly average oral. I fake it. Twice. I go down on him, his cock is decent, a good size, smells clean, he's clean. He comes almost immediately. We chat. I make sympathetic or indignant noises, as the case may be, while trying not to drift too far into the DayQuil haze.

Cowgirl, I come for real. He tells me he wants to fuck me in the ass. I'm taken aback - I've been very clear about this - and I say "Not today." He looks astonished: "You said 'no' to me!?" I briefly become very dominant and tell him to come. He switches to mish, the moment passes, and he does. Again, he chats, I listen and fight the fog.

More oral for him, he comes again. It's a tight hour and a half, he tips me $5 (more a function of not wanting change on a twenty), he's out the door. And I blissfully waft into my other hotel room, brush my teeth, and shower until I'm pruney.

Activities with Clients, Ordered from Least to Most Off-Putting:

Back rubs from them to me
Oral on them
Oral on me
Being called by my real name
Being called by my real name while being urged to come

After - well, during - I decide this is it. I got a fat paycheck from my other job today, I have enough for what I was saving up for, Sexual Athlete's cash is going to be a lovely trip to the used bookstore and inexpensive lunches out for the next few weeks. I text Lover "Done Whoring". I tell Power Girl this is the last one.

Then tonight I get a lovely email from a client I've been phone-tagging with...

Please call me when you get back, I would still love to share some time with you and explore those things we would like to mutually consider, chew over, reflect, percolate, ponder, deliberate, mull over or ........... muse about.

I've been asking what he does, and he attaches a drawing. He's in urban design. I love urban design...



Anonymous said...

Y'know, I don't get it. And I haveta admit, I'm a guy, and I don't get it. From everything I've read, it seems you've made it pretty clear that you're not into anal. Okay, so you're not into anal.

Maybe it comes across differently when read versus when said.

But yeah, when somebody says they're not into something, I don't ask them again. It's not that I don't have a dominant side, it's just that women like a dominant side every now and then. I've never slept with one who liked "pushy." Asking for something you know they're not into, not only doesn't get you what you've asked for, it might not get you quite a few things else. Like anything at all in the bedroom.

Ah well. Congrats on the money aspect. So does this mean you'll be hanging up your badge and riding off into the sunset on husband & lover, or will be close to it soon then? Not that the exploits, and wit behind them, aren't interesting, but the last thing I'd want anyone to be doing is what you do, solely for a blog.


Tom Paine said...

Line from "Godfather III," which as a movie almost undoes the greatness of the first two: "Every time I think I'm out, they pull me back in."

Are you in for the cash, the fucking or the drama?

Gillette said...

Will be interesting to see if you decide to leave...if you decide to do it another way....whatever you decide to do. Yes, urban design can be so fun. As can lots of things, but obviously not athletics (or at least this one, wink wink).

Big Kahuna said...

Hi Mandy - I was just talking yesterday with Babushka about that obvious inability of men to actually hear what is said.

We can always put on our "work" face for others as you did with Mr. SA. With that said work relationships are no different than any other - being present in the moment and listening to the other party always makes a business transaction more fruitful.

Plus - the whole jamming fingers into the pussy notion - we guys do watch wat too much porn. Jyst makes me laugh....of course I am not the one getting hand-jammed and expected to cum on demand.

However the decision goes I wish you the best

Take Care,

Mandy said...

Don't get me wrong, anal is great :) I just don't go there with clients. Too much trust and vulnerability involved.

But yeah, how can I possibly let myself be "real" as they claim to want (even a little) if I don't have 100% confidence that they are going to respect my boundaries?

I'm not out yet, I don't think - but I am rethinking how I'm in.