Saturday, May 12, 2007

Diversion: Best...Personal Ad...Ever

I'm seeking a like-minded woman to share a disasterous 3-9 month relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings...

I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion - but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the eventual emotional breakdown of one or other party - or if we're lucky - both!


(There's more.)

Oh, Miguel, if I was not halfway around the world, how I would be there for you...

6 comments:

Z said...

I love that! It's brilliant, and with any luck he is on the way to taking down his neon sign. We should all be so honest.

Now I'm mentally composing them for all my friends...

la fille mariƩe said...

My God... I am the perfect woman for him!

Mandy said...

We should all do ads...

"Narcissistic girl with literary fixation seeks part-time lover who will worship me totally while understanding my committment to others prevents me from returning same or even most of your calls...

Send pictures of library and guitar."

Z said...

"Egotistical woman with literary pretensions and no drive or ambition whatsoever seeks unavailable man. Do not apply unless you are arrogant, highly articulate, very intelligent, posessed of a vicious wit (and able to appreciate mine), a good wide bitchy, mean streak (never turned on me), loads of ambition, and preferably a tattoo. You will need to be outstanding in bed, wear a suit to work, and to be equally obsessed with my mind and my body. You will be happy to compliment me on both of the above at all times, and have a keen appreciation of both".

Tom Paine said...

There was the statement by a famous sports figure who, when asked if he planned on getting married again replied, "naw, I figure I'll find a woman who hates me and buy her a house."

VJ said...

I just love these Brit 'counter' ads! Just a whole lot better and more etertaining than the American ones! There's a book out now about them too. Cheers, 'VJ'