Friday, April 13, 2007

Bits and Pieces

...I have traveled south to the land of God and good manners. I noticed through the night, as we got closer to our destination, the Christian radio stations became much more prevalent, and I was able to tell them faster - it didn't even take a God lyric to catch Christian rock. Then I realized that Christian artists have much better diction and you can make out every word, which is why the music instantly sounds different than "mainstream" music. When you've got a message, get it out...

...also heard on the radio: "Don't miss next Saturday's Pregnant Bikini Contest for all you MILFs-to-be! Win some cash and show off that beautiful bump before it becomes a bouncing ball and chain!" There was more. There was a lot more. I don't know if I'm more amused or appalled - let's celebrate the human body in all its shapes and sizes! By getting drunk and choosing one girl as better than all the others based on audience catcalls and obscenities!...

...this month's Glamour boasts Kate Beckinsale on the cover and a tagline about the new beautiful body, "strong, healthy and real!" and announces in the table of contents that women from 90-230 pounds are in the article and real bodies throughout the magazine. In the article, there's a starlet, another starlet, the Urban Bush Women (thank God), one plus-size fashion model and Steffi Graf. The plus-size model might weigh 170 pounds if she's over 5'10", otherwise she's maybe a dress size 14. Throughout the magazine are the usual crop of lean, toned print models, and the skinny aliens shaped like coat hangers who populate the high-fashion ads. I'm serious about the coat hanger bit - couture is designed to be displayed on a woman who looks like a hanger...

...meanwhile, I continue to lie about my weight - so many women do, that if I claimed my true weight I'd sound like a giant cow, but in everyone's head, I *am* what a 135 pound woman looks like. However, after losing five pounds from being so sick, I then ate badly for two weeks and I'm starting to *feel* like a giant cow. Since several of my jobs involve being paid to be attractive, I'll be actively seeking additional physical activity this weekend...

4 comments:

Tom Paine said...

I need some fill earth hauled from my neighbor's back yard to mine, then scattered in some small sink holes.... That should burn off some calories. Or did you have something else in mind?

dexplorer said...

Whatever your "number" is hotness, you look damn, damn good. You've shared many pics except of course full face.

Utterly scrumptious in fact. A right fox.

That's before getting to all those talents, and that most wondrous of all sex organs. The one up there.

Which is in the best shape of all.

SRB said...

I think you are fabulous.

I love how in the Glamour interview they were intrigued about Ms. Kate's having to "gain 10 lbs. for a role". I'm sure it's really stepping outside of one's comfort zone to have to purchase a size 0 rather than the 00. Poor Kate; I feel your pain.

The English Courtesan said...

What's so unattractive about giant cows anyway? As a flat-chested ho, I for one would give a whole chocolate fudge cake for big boobs! :-)

I have just discovered you thanks to Gillette (see my latest post for her comment on 'you'd better be nice to Mandy too!'). I have to say you look lovely the way you are, which is incidentally way, way, way off giant cowdom,

Livvy xxx