Sunday, November 4, 2007

Mandy's Mailbag

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ZurichDate: 02/11/2007

I've had a beer.

Im at [place I work].

Just saw your new photos and wonder what I DONT have to be invited along…

and I want to fuck you lots.



This one’s easy.

From: Mandy
Date: 02/11/2007

I've had a Nyquil. It's numbing the pain.

I'm in [my town].

You weren't female or possessed of [unique skill]. But there will be good jobs coming up.

I'm in too much pain right now to return the last sentiment wholeheartedly, but trust me, it's in there somewhere. I'll check back in a couple of weeks...

Loved the last pic you sent!


--- Original Message ---
From: Circus Guy
Date: 23/10/2007

Hello [Whorename]! How have you been. I haven't heard a peep from you in a long while. How's the [realjob] world?? Have you been in my area lately? Would be nice to see you again you don't have to put me down so. I haven't been doing much lately just working hard, i could really use a vacation. Send me a line or two from time to time and let me know if you are in my area so i can come and see ya.
Hope your well
Circus Guy

Ooooo! Subtext! My favorite! Let’s see…ummm…he wants to fuck me. Just a guess.

From: Mandy
Date: 2/11/2007

Hi Circus Guy! Nice to hear from you :)

(clearly, my plan of ignoring your emails has only stirred your ardor)

I got to see the circus when I was in [City]


which was neat - they are a small, one-ring show, but very good. I have been gone for a few months and just got back - I'd love to see you sometime later in November maybe?

(Like if I happen to be passing through your city and have two hours to kill at my old rate?)

I'm not really doing a whole lot in that line anymore

(I don’t do hourly, but hey, neither do you, Mr. Overstay),

and what I am doing is on a bit of a different scale

(I cost five times as much as the price you bitched about),

but I'd love to see you at our previous arrangement if that is workable for you

(You will pay my full rate and you will pay the hotel, mofo).

Hope to see you sometime soon :)

(And teach you to distinguish between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’, after all, cunnilingus only gets a man so far in life!)



Meanwhile, Brit Boy has contacted me, out of the blue. We dated circa 3 B.H. (Before Husband), meeting in the passport line at the Hoek van Holland/Harwich Ferry, in the days when sleeping on the boat was better than paying a night’s lodging. Lounging uncomfortably in the reclining chairs in the sleeping room, he passed me a card, having written, come here and kiss me, Holly Golightly… I did… Now he’s agonizing about his latest affair, and thinks I’m the one to ask for advice:

…here's what you introduced me to (the non-rude stuff obviously): New York, Bagels with Cream cheese for breakfast, lapdancing (bit rude), guns in shops (your dad had one!), Janes Addiction, US Road Trips, sex in swimming pools (v rude - and slippery as I recall) and Lincoln Town Cars. And flower deliveries!

And total admiration for someone who just got on with things. Just like that. "Here's the problem; here's what I need to do; here's how I do it. Now. Done it!"

Prevarication [nickname only my father, brother and special lovers may use], still my middle name!

X Brit Boy

It’s a lot to live up to.

(Nyquil photo from Everything That Remains).

1 comment:

The English Courtesan said...

Wahahaha, funny, funny, funny - Mandy, thou rockest! Can I forward all my mail to you please? :-)

Livvy xxx