Bits and Pieces

Today’s Bits and Pieces brought to you by “Writing Because I Can’t Breathe When I See Her Name, Thank God for Friend Delete.”

…Just saw a locally-made-video-commercial for a strip bar, with a lady in evening dress dancing on a stage for a group of businessmen who are earnestly conferring over the paperwork on their table. She finishes and they all look up and clap appreciatively. Of course, the local beer-and-pussy bar is where I have all *my* business lunches…


...A friend asked, a few weeks ago, if I could give him some guidance on finding a girl, natural redhead, breasts like melons, creamy skin, professional. I'm just now wondering if there was a hint in there. (It's not natural, they're more like small grapefruits, I'm not that pale)...

…Still collecting names/pseudonyms and mailing addresses/secret drop locations for the Mix CD present to Gentle Readers. Note that you do not have to have been a longtime reader or a longtime commenter or even resident in North America to claim yours! As my sister-in-law said when I asked if my mother had pressured her to have me as a bridesmaid when she barely knew me, “Later, we’ll know each other better, and then we’ll be glad we did.” Could be widely-applicable advice, don’t you think?...

…I’ve finally found a legit reason to despise Cute Girl. OK, OK, I hear you all. The relationship overlap was neither her choice nor her fault. BUT (and it’s a big but), it was indeed her choice to hear my anguish from my mouth, and then 48 hours later spread her fun new thing all over Facebook and Myspace and LiveJournal where she knew I’d see it and be hurt by it. So, Cute Girl, props to you for pissing on him to establish ownership as soon as you could, because it certainly was touch and go and now he’ll be embarrassed to back out any time soon, and fuck you, I no longer have to pretend I still think you're cool. Incidentally, when you’ve broken up (and you will), I’ll be telling you exactly what ex-Lover's wager was in the pool your acquaintances have started about how long this will last. We’re all the betting type…