If you've been following the comments on Late..., or the interesting little sort-of-dialogue-mostly-people-shouting debate about the ethics of
1) Sleeping with people who have partners versus picking up strangers through the internet, and
2) Whether one of those practices entitles the doer to moral high ground over the other, who can be characterised as Wrong, Stupid and Bad People,
you may want to check out Emma Kelly's latest. Thanks, Emma.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Yeah, What She Said
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5 comments:
Hi Mandy,
Thank you, too.
Emma
Defining our own moral code is an interesting process, and a vital part of self-knowledge. Attacking other people on theirs smacks of insecurity. I am quite prepared to accept that other people find the fact that I fuck married men unacceptable, but I don't expect to be attacked on it, any more than I would expect them to be prepared to sit back while I took them to task for things they do that I don't agree with.
Everything we do can come down to moral and ethical considerations. I don't give enough money to charity. I eat tuna fish without checking to see if any dolphins were harmed in the catch. I fuck married men so long as I don't know their wives. I wear fur. And yet, I still believe that I hold myself to a higher moral code than many others do.
We all find a balance we can live with. No one is perfect. And no one can afford to throw stones.
What was lost in this "debate" is the question of whether there is or is not an ethical standard that is less personal than "whatever I do is right because it's what works for me." It's true that one needs to walk a mile in the other guy's shoes before coming to any conclusions, and at least hope he wears the same size shoes you do. But my choosing to speak out may strike some as wrong, rude or hypocritical, but that doesn't make it less true (or false). Not expecting to be judged for our actions is naive at best. I accept that some will disagree with me, others will cheer, but this isn't a popularity contest, and I don't fashion my life or my choices around what's comfortable, popular or cool.
"Wrong, rude or hypocritical"? I've made the argument for each of those, but the real foundation for the heat, at least from me, was the fact that you were (are?) being totally sanctimonious. Being moral, ethical, and even judgmental is a private matter, but being a self-righteous pain in the ass is different.
aa
Thanks, Emma and Z, nice to hear your side, and Tom and AA, thanks for restating your points.
I now declare a temporary moratorium on this blog on this topic, though at some point we may return. Thank you for your participation in this spirited debate!
Thank you!
Mandy
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