Monday, December 25, 2006

How About Now?

So after much toying with the idea for many years, including a brief fling with a not-so-legit agency where we "disappointed" all the clients, I've made up my mind.

I'm gonna be a whore.

I don't know, maybe "I'm exploring the world of prostitution" sounds classier, but that feels like it should have "Mumsy dear" tacked to the end of the sentence.

Why blog about it? Well, apparently all the other ho's have blogs, so why not me?

The process has gone something like this:

Reason against: I live in a smallish town in which there is a high probability of being recognized by a client, either upon arrival at the appointment, or in the context of my other career.

Reason for: I'm tired of being broke.

Against: I'm married. And not in a 'well, this one'll do' way, but in a 'when I said death do us part I really meant it' way. That last was a surprising little discovery a few years ago during a trial separation which mercifully did not take.

For: I'm tired of being broke.

Against: I'm already busy with my other job, there's no agency in my town, I'm not willing to post my pictures on the net, I don't have any good pictures with this hair color and me looking sexy, I'll need to get another phone.

For: I'm really, really tired of being broke.

So I've started on a small scale - screening Craigslist for men who:

1) Can spell and punctuate with near-total accuracy.
2) Do not post photographs of their erect member alongside an urgent plea for a lady to join them right now in their hotel.
3) Do not begin with a challenge about "are you hot enough for me".

I tell them I'm a professional in the first line - delete if you will, mates - and add on a kicky little message hopefully demonstrating I'm fun, have a sense of humor, and worth every penny of the $275/hour I plan to charge them.

I sent four messages - three "looking for a lady" and one looking for a dominatrix. Three replies (the first three) right off the bat, two requesting a pic (I sent) and one requesting lunch right away (I delayed until after the day celebrating the Birth of Our Let's Ignore the Jewish Bit Lord and Savior).

I'll keep you posted...

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