Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Day Five: Fun With Math!

1) Word Problem
Mandy plans to fly to Eastern City to be driven by Ex-Lover to his home for “friend time”. Ex-Lover writes that she should instead fly into Midwestern City where her car is parked and drive to meet him, but he’s not sure if he will be coming home Sunday or Monday. If Mandy’s home is North of Midwestern City, and Ex-Lover’s home is South of Midwestern City, how many hours should Mandy wait in the airport for Lover to decide at the last minute whether he will leave Eastern City and meet Mandy at his home?

Bonus: By what exponential factor does Ex-Lover’s classiness decrease when he informs Mandy of this plan via email?

2) True or False?
Ex-Lover has actually told Cute Girl that Mandy has been invited to spend a week with him in a distant city, which has been planned for more than a month.

3) Graphing.
Using a standard graph, plot a parabola to represent Lover’s feelings towards Cute Girl. Plot another, opposing parabola to represent the number of conversations per week between Mandy and Lover. Label the intersections of the two lines, “I really miss sleeping next to you.”

4) Multiple Choice.
Beautiful Girl tells Mandy, “He’s not worth it, get over him.” A wise friend whose advice Mandy trusts tells her, “He is being incredibly selfish by continuing to engage with you in this way.” Power Girl tells Mandy, “Get over it already.” Mandy thinks to herself, “He wants to have the wonderful friendship we always had, but he had it when he was treating me well and now that is no longer the case. It feels good to be comfortable with him, but afterwards I’m a wreck.” Mandy will:

a) Get a fucking life, count her blessings and get over it.
b) Delete him out of her email address book, phone, Myspace and Facebook, tell him not to call, text, email, message or poke her, and try very hard to mean it.
c) Enjoy only the company of friends who do not expect her to be totally okay with being betrayed and lied to on a fundamental level that violates everything that has come before.
d) Think that anyone who describes his time with her as being a “bad person” while describing being with the new girl he lied to Mandy about and betrayed her with as a “fresh start” is a clueless puddle of insulting slime who is pretty much flat out saying that Mandy’s trash.
e) All of the above.
f) None of the above, Mandy has the self-respect of a walnut.

Extra Credit: Describe your most memorable, triumphant break-up moment.

When finished, turn in your papers and ask for a library pass. Make sure all your work is in number 2 pencil and that you have filled in the entire circle with a dark mark.


Anonymous said...

Good day, Mandy.

That is, wishing you one.

I noticed that you seem to be calling the same person both Ex-Lover, and Lover. I'd say you should find something better to do that wait around at an airport for this guy. Were it that easy, you surely would have had enough already. You aren't yet to the point on the graph where the costs line intersects with the benefits line. Get rid of that dark mark.


Anonymous said...

oh, seconding steve, darlin'. ex-whats-his-name. ridiculous. little little man. positively lacking scrotum. buh-bye. BUH-bye.


Anonymous said...

An old saw comes to mind about a divorced person getting remarried: "It's the triumph of optimism".

It's pointless to continue on this path of angst and self-flagellation. You'll have to accept enduring the pain until you reach the point of abject disappointment which will allow you to break the emotional bonds. That's how it works for most, anyway.

Duke Orsino said...

Ex-lover is trying to have his cake and eat it too, as we say. He wants to pick and choose the best bits of you, and Cute Girl, and expects both of you to take whatever he feels like giving you in return.

OK. Multiple choice time. Is he:

(a) Such a fan-dabby-dozy guy that any woman would be happy just to touch the hem of his garment?

(b) Attractive only to women with the (albeit temporary) self-respect of a walnut. Not just Mandy?

(c) In desperate need of being ditched, comprehensively, by both Mandy and Cute Girl? For his own good, you understand.

You know my "break up" story, and you and I have made a lot of the same mistakes. Glass houses, stones, etc, but you know, deep down, what you have to do, even though you don't want to do it.

Life is, indeed, a bitch.

Anonymous said...


What are you doing with all these men? Don't you think that you should try to get what you really need from yourself? Please stop hurting yourself.

Brian said...

"being betrayed and lied to on a fundamental level that violates everything that has come before"

Uh, hello, Pot? This is your kettle calling.
Some friends you have that berate his actions and yet defend or turn a blind eye to yours. Is that what is called an 'enabling'?

If you can't take it don't give it.
Cop yourself on and sort yourself out.

Numi said...

Two options: run away and/or burn it with fire.

Imagine if he suddenly decides he wants you and not Cute Girl.

At this point, would such a scenario make up for all the shit he's put(ting) you through?

Mandy, run away. Run away while hurling great balls of fire at him until he's either ashes or hidden by the smoke and distance.

lowrah said...

Powerful men that allow powerful women to become undone, to submit, even if for an isolated incident, forever have some kind of mysterious hold and control and domination over said powerful women.